I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
