I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
