I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I could make wine with my vomit
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
