I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
