i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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