Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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