we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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