hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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