needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize