Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
