I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
