I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
