I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
