Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize