the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
