Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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