I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
