But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
