no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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