Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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