woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
