i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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