I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
