HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize