I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I can't put those talents on a resume
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
