my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
