Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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