jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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