I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Can Purell be used as lube?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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