He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
