She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
