Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so let's talk penis.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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