it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
