i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
