Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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