Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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