i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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