Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
