This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
