found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
time to smoke my breakfast
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
