My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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