Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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