So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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