when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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