morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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