he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
