If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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