and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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