my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Mom said you looked used
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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