should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
