I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
