new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
