did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize