Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize