2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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