2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
