how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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