his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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