I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
