Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
