Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
