He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
no you cant smoke seaweed
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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