just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
