this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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