Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
